P6: "But she's just too good for me..."

There was already a huge impact of her to me at that time. She was simply making me happy already. I would always think of her almost all the time - from the moment I wake up until down to my last conscious thought, and would go on again the next day.

I have experienced a number of special new things, and I did experience them with her and because of her. Do you know those times that you were entering a new chapter of your life, and you were doing it with a smiling face and a light heart? Do you remember how it felt?

Experiencing these special firsts in my life with her has made her become so memorable. And as I wrote this entry years back, I only felt so much joy being with her and knowing we still had time to be with each other, eventhough I haven't really known how much that meant to her.

She was a person of stature for me, and I might have not been seemingly the same for her. We have known alot of things about each other, and that enough gave me a reason to feel intimidated to her. But I really did not feel that way. I have not been sure if she meant it, deliberately had done it that way, or that was the way she kept herself with different people, but she simply made me feel totally and entirely comfortable being with her. I might have been one of the luckier guys out there (at that time maybe) who was able to see and experience the sweeter side of her.

I know I already wanted her and needed her around so much, but I know she was too good for a guy like me.