Second entry of three parts
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I came home with a smile on my face - the kind of smile that you just couldn't take away. I knew I was missing her already, but I knew within a few days I would be seeing her again.
That was what I got - a few days. A few days for me to prepare just a bit. But I was really clueless on what was supposed to happen, so I really did not know how and which to prepare. But I still tried.
Also at this same time, I was already making a long term plan which is not directly affecting her, but STILL may affect her (and this plan is still ON to date). Well this shall take alot of sacrifices in my part, but I have yet to see what will happen. I know I may seem trying to omit some major details here. Hmmm, I have just been preparing myself to make way to work fifteen hundred miles away from home just to get near to her.
Anyway, I was in my room, writing something on the "prequel", as I would always do. I had been thinking of her since we parted ways just that other night, and I had been planting anticipation for the next few days.
"It will be payback." That's what I had put in the prequel. And I was waiting for the payback.
Then they had arrived here. I was already aware and set my mind to keep myself composed because we only had a limited time. On the dinner we had on that same night, I can remember I was already trying to get closer to her then and there. I sat beside her, asked for another picture of us, and I was really trying to talk to her more than an almost no effort from me a week before.
She looked unbiasedly prettier and more blooming than how I first saw her, as if she was really poised to have a blast in this vacation. And yes she was - pulling me to anything she is interesting in seeing or doing. The first night was especially memorable for the both of us. We have done a couple of things that we both have done for the first time in our lives - we looked so amusingly stupid doing them.
Comparing this part of the vacation to the first one, I could already say that this was turning into a more interesting one, and I was very happy with it. We were all to stay in one room, so basically we would stick to each other from waking time to sleeping time, until they leave the place. That was high quality bonding time, I'd say.
Because of that, we had been especially closer throughout the duration of the vacation. We would go out as if we were going out on a date. At times, she would just pull my arm, hit me, stuck really close to me, and just talk. At this time, I already knew more than enough about her - enough for me to create a really long story about her. One of the notables she told me about herself is she hates musicians. And to everybody's note, I am a hardcore musician.
And as for her, she definitely knew me way better than before. We both had our own chances of telling each other our lives' stories and listening to them intently. Well, it's not really hard to tell her stories because I felt that she was always listening and at times, she'd let me know how'd she felt about some of my stories.
We had days that we just laughed and slept and abit all silly. We also had days that we weren't "the usual lively duo" (in which she actually had a reason why we had these days). We had a lot of pictures (which I am still keeping) which went along the way. I could say that I was really lucky because I was able to see, feel and experience her sweeter side.
But overall so far, we were having a great time being together. We both had experienced something new with each other's presence. I was really getting all so used being with her and walking side by side with her. I was wishing it wouldn't end.
As interesting as things was turning out to be, the next events that had occurred would really raise some eyebrows (and again, telling some of the details can be scary for me).
I was aware that the whole vacation was about to come to close and I knew in myself that in a matter of a single night's sleep, we would never see each other again for the longest time. You can just imagine how depressed I was feeling, how heavy my heart was getting.
I was having a moment on my own that night, just trying to relax and to figure out what I'd be trying to do before they leave. I honestly admit that I didn't have any plans on pursuing her or so (but still, my plans for my career that I have mentioned above was still on) because everything was so fresh and I didn't exactly know if she really had feelings for me. I was actually pessimistic about things.
Then there she came. She came to me. She was wearing this bright pink shirt and her newly bought blue skirt, with her little eyes in between those black frames as she walked towards me, and sat beside me. Our colors somewhat blended as I was wearing pink too. I can still remember that my heart was trembling inside because I could feel then and there that we were going to have an important talk.
She directly asked me if I liked her, with some curiosity and concern from her eyes. Yeah, I was aware of the self-statement I made earlier that I had no plans of pursuing her. But, with my whole heart and sincerity, I admitted to her that I did like her at that moment. She only liked me halfway, she admitted, but I didn't really know how she meant by liking me halfway.
She pointed out some stuff about courting her, which really dismayed me. I strongly pointed myself out by telling her that liking a girl doesn't necessary mean I will court that girl right away. I really did not want to. And besides, I was not ready for a new relationship and I could sense that she was not ready for her first one. Our conversation ended peacefully, but might have left some confusion and concern between us.
Later that night, she told me she was not happy, and told me we should talk again.
So, in a different venue, we did. While our second conversation was running, I was learning her other side. I was knowing her alot better, and she was doing the same for me. It was really a heartfelt talk because we were alone and we didn't have to think of other things but us.
We had come to an agreement that after that vacation we'd be in contact by email. Like what I have just mentioned above, she hated musicians. So then and there, she told me that she knew that I am a musician, but "Let's see if you can change my mind." I will never forget that she told me that. So what now? Was I already courting her or not?
That night ended with me crying the night out, and with her, I didn't really know.
I was very well aware that there were instances that she'd look for me, wait for me, follow me, or just plain getting near me. That next morning, it was the last time that she really went looking for me when I was a moment of my own. There she was again, wearing a white shirt, totally looking like a kid. I didn't expect her to show herself up, but she did.
Her face was showing concern, because I knew her well enough that she would show concern to a seemingly depressed person. Well, we talked again, but at that time, I was not really paying attention to her. I was in the verge of breaking down right there in front of her, knowing that I won't be seeing her for a long time.
Then there it finally came. The moment that I had been wishing not to come. We were around twenty meters apart, waving at each other. That's how I last saw her - she was standing afar waving at me, all blurry with all the tears just flowing out of my eyes.
I broke down. Really badly. I was enduring the greatest pain in my heart.
(to be continued...)
20090722
20090721
How I Laid My Eyes On Her
Thank you for the people who had taken their time in reading my but humble blog. I'd say this is a really long blog that one has to take reasonable just to finish my entries to date. I really thank all of you, from the bottom of my empty heart.
This is the first entry of three parts. The contents of these entries is a request of an anonymous person who have read this blog (you can actually see our conversation in the comments page in the previous entry). I hope you guys enjoy this. I thank all of you again.
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I am sitting in my chair here in my desk, silently doing my stuff here trying to look all busy so as the others wouldn't bug me silly. Yea really, at times you just won't hear me talking as if I was just getting by to wait the day to finish.
But inside of me, I am raging on mute, and no one can hear it.
My personal life is like a blur of what is really running in my mind. I have so many thoughts that has been going through, and they aren't so pretty. They're pretty mixed up - so unorganized, but they mean a direction to me.
I have been dying to actually take that direction. I have been wanting to get out this crammed up world I am living in. I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity for me to break free of this system that has been getting very old and tedious.
I could have already done this before but I'd say alot of things got in the way - some are controlled, some are not. I'd love to tell the whole story here, but I am really afraid that my identity may get compromised. I will just share the first half of it (and I think in this whole blog, this is the first entry that may share a big bulk of story, and I may still omit some definitive details without question - but still, this is really scary for me).
If you have read the entry 'The Pursuit?', more or less you will "vaguely familiar" with the first part. But I will try to expand it if I can.
Almost a decade ago, I already knew her existence. The reason? It's quite uncommon...well rarely uncommon that it would be too obvious that I'd get compromised. I never met her that time, but I already know her name; I already know what she had been doing. I already know some of her accomplishments, and I might already have some clues of what she was really capable of doing. I already knew how her face looked like.
For about the same time, I don't know how much thought she had put in me. But I didn't. I just knew her existence, but I was living my own life in where I have been living. And for her? She might already have known how I looked, might already have known what I had been doing. She might already have known the different embarassments I have done (that she would later be learning about). But this I am sure, she already knew I existed, and she already knew my name.
And yet we have been fifteen hundred miles apart. How was this possible? Yea, I know it's strange. But we all know how the internet is making the world alot smaller. So I'd like to skip those details.
Several years later, I was already aware that we were about to meet. But having so little interest in her, I just told myself "Let's just get this over with so we can have our own lives back." I did not feel the need and urgency to make self preparations for our meeting.
And yet, I would later discover that I was all wrong.
She looked so vibrant and bubbly with her black framed eyeglasses and dangling earrings that made her look way behind her real age. She wasn't the same girl I saw in the picture several years ago. And honestly, I was instantly dumbstruck while she was all composed meeting all of us.
This is the first entry of three parts. The contents of these entries is a request of an anonymous person who have read this blog (you can actually see our conversation in the comments page in the previous entry). I hope you guys enjoy this. I thank all of you again.
-----
I am sitting in my chair here in my desk, silently doing my stuff here trying to look all busy so as the others wouldn't bug me silly. Yea really, at times you just won't hear me talking as if I was just getting by to wait the day to finish.
But inside of me, I am raging on mute, and no one can hear it.
My personal life is like a blur of what is really running in my mind. I have so many thoughts that has been going through, and they aren't so pretty. They're pretty mixed up - so unorganized, but they mean a direction to me.
I have been dying to actually take that direction. I have been wanting to get out this crammed up world I am living in. I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity for me to break free of this system that has been getting very old and tedious.
I could have already done this before but I'd say alot of things got in the way - some are controlled, some are not. I'd love to tell the whole story here, but I am really afraid that my identity may get compromised. I will just share the first half of it (and I think in this whole blog, this is the first entry that may share a big bulk of story, and I may still omit some definitive details without question - but still, this is really scary for me).
If you have read the entry 'The Pursuit?', more or less you will "vaguely familiar" with the first part. But I will try to expand it if I can.
Almost a decade ago, I already knew her existence. The reason? It's quite uncommon...well rarely uncommon that it would be too obvious that I'd get compromised. I never met her that time, but I already know her name; I already know what she had been doing. I already know some of her accomplishments, and I might already have some clues of what she was really capable of doing. I already knew how her face looked like.
For about the same time, I don't know how much thought she had put in me. But I didn't. I just knew her existence, but I was living my own life in where I have been living. And for her? She might already have known how I looked, might already have known what I had been doing. She might already have known the different embarassments I have done (that she would later be learning about). But this I am sure, she already knew I existed, and she already knew my name.
And yet we have been fifteen hundred miles apart. How was this possible? Yea, I know it's strange. But we all know how the internet is making the world alot smaller. So I'd like to skip those details.
Several years later, I was already aware that we were about to meet. But having so little interest in her, I just told myself "Let's just get this over with so we can have our own lives back." I did not feel the need and urgency to make self preparations for our meeting.
And yet, I would later discover that I was all wrong.
She looked so vibrant and bubbly with her black framed eyeglasses and dangling earrings that made her look way behind her real age. She wasn't the same girl I saw in the picture several years ago. And honestly, I was instantly dumbstruck while she was all composed meeting all of us.
Basically, I have learned that we are to spend time together for a couple of weeks - half of it in their place, half in ours. I decided to try everything to spend time with her with much quality. But how? I wasn't prepared.
Just the second day, I knew I already liked her alot. It was not just because she was insanely pretty in my pair of eyes, but also she appeared to be so exciting to be with, as she seemed so independent eventhough she looked so innocent. And little I did know, there was so much more in her that I would be seeing that would make go head over heels for her.
She would always look so simple. As a student, she seemed to be so used to carry alot of things with her two arms and her back. And never fails to wear her pretty smile. She always had something to talk about, whether she was talking to me or not. I'd rather kept almost quiet when talking to her.
I was so glad and relieved when we had our picture together. We were both wearing blue shirts. It was like I had reached a certain pinnacle of my life. Well, I didn't realize we would be having way alot of pictures as the vacation would progress.
Nothing can really describe how I laid my eyes on her, and I even got lost in her eyes a couple of times. Yes, at that time I already like her so much, and I was already worried on how would I be feeling when this vacation reaches the end. I was feeling so passionate but anxious. I was feeling all so hesitant inside. I really wanted her around.
So there, the first part of the vacation came to a close. We just parted ways for the first time, but it was like as if nothing happened, but inside of me I was already raging on mute. I was missing her.
But I had something to look forward into. I was waiting.
(to be continued...)
20090703
My Untold Memories - Memories 7 to 9
7. We were still just spending some good times for a few days but we haven't got a single picture. I was already worried that maybe for that limited time we'd be spending together, I wouldn't get that picture.
That seemed like the almost-perfect time for that first picture. We wore the same shirt color and we were quite alone in where we were. Then I was feeling the guts over the feeling of being shy.
It was a simple request, but how the hell do I ask her. I was holding my brother's cam.
"Hey, is it okay if I take picture with you?"
Or something like that [I admit, at that time I couldn't complete a whole sentence without shaking when talking to her]. And we had our first picture. Man, she looked so pretty.
Do you guys remember that very special feeling? Maybe for those pretty girls out there, it'd be nothing, but for guys, HEART POUNDING! The moment you ask this very pretty girl who is just melting your heart while she simply stands in front of you to fake a smile, stand beside you for a couple of seconds, and just wait for the camera to click. That's already hard. And you hear her saying yes? That's a HUGE relief and alot of excitement. And the actual moment you stand beside her, and feeling abit of skin that you wouldn't know if you should press on or hold a little bit back while you position the cam and trying to look all composed?!
And finally, you finally get the picture that you've been waiting for. It's like THE PICTURE OF YOUR LIFETIME. More relief that you finally get it, and more excitement because you just can't wait to show that to your friends.
That's pretty much me at that moment.
Then more pictures followed. Please read on to moment #8.
8. Then those pictures followed. I must say, I was getting quite used to having pictures with her, no matter who is taking those. I would still feel amazingly frozen every time our bodies get really near to each other when we pose for a click, but I made sure from then that we good pictures.
Yea, we piled up quite a number of pictures. One of them was even given a title (not by me):
"[90561495] with a [adjective #1] [Adjective #2] guy" <--- go figure
That was like the "legendary picture". The picture of all pictures. I think we wore our best smiles in the whole trip and got really lucky enough to be able to put them in a single picture (Oh man you should see her very pretty smile in this picture!). And not just only that, we really looked sweet in that picture that her shoulder was over mine as if my arm could wrap her around or I could put my hand on her other shoulder (too bad I was a wimp!). We wore shirts with colors opposite in the color wheel, and the combination looks strikingly beautiful over a background of old with grays and greens. Some candid pictures capturing some good laughs or funny things.
One of the notable ones is when we got to ride a [something like a rickshaw in China, but instead of a human being, you get an animal as your engine]. The "rickshaw" was really unstable and we got quite off balanced and laughed it all off. Got it on film. Another from the candid pictures was tagged by a friend - "Hey, what are you doing with my bag?". We honestly didn't know that this was coming because we were way behind everyone else while we walk uphill together (but the picture was really upclose). Minding our own businesses while walking, she was looking the plants and flowers at the roadside (I think), while I was messing with her little bag (which I actually bought for her). Got that on film as well.
More from the candid pictures. At one day, we were both wearing pink. We looked cute alright. But there is another picture that was amusingly tagged by a friend again. He did not just tag it by the way. HE MADE AN EDITED PICTURE OF IT (LOL). It goes like this. We just ordered food from a Chinese restaurant, and we just had to wait. We left kinda bored, positioning restlessly on our chairs. Here how the picture came: She was looking at the table, maybe holding the menu or something, and looking quite abit pissed or disturbed with her lips pouted, while I was looking actually inside the restaurant but in the camera it appears like I was looking at her trying to figure out what to do next. This friend of mine edited the picture by putting shoutout clouds like in the comic strips with her thinking "When will he court me?" and me thinking "How will I court her?". LOL it was really funny.
I didn't actually come to understand why we had to pose for like ten times when we were at the pool side. The first one was already ok. Two should have been enough.
We were in a bar with some family friends. I STILL don't know if it was just me, or she was trying to get nearer to me when we were having our pictured taken that night, nearer than the usual. I can still remember that night that she was warmer to me, more talkative and just abit different than how she showed her identity to me on the previous days. If you should take a look at this series of pictures, I was in the same pose in those pictures while she was changing positions. More or less an hour after that, in some way, she wanted to know how I felt for her. But still, I don't know if it was right for me if I had taken advantage of her.
Oh yeah, before I forget. The last picture with just the two of us. Maybe the bluest of them all. Well, the previous night was an awful night for me. I am not sure how this picture was taken but here is how it looks like: Me, driver's seat. Her, passenger seat. My eyes looked half opened and I was looking maybe at the side mirror, with a shallow smile. Definitely I wasn't looking at her. She was leaning forward, smiling and looking at me, looking worried. Her elbow was on the compartment, maybe giving a hint that she was or about to lean nearer to me (maybe not). And, I was wearing the shirt she bought me for my birthday (and there is actually a picture where we were in the cashier with her buying the shirt).
Well, there are way more pictures in here. These are just some of the notable untold ones.
9. This memory is actually worth sharing. I just don't know how this ended up totally untold to anyone, not even in the prequel.
Get this: You're an a teenager anymore, but at that certain moment you felt like being a real kid. And lucky you, the girl you like so much wants to do the same with you at the same moment.
That was me at one point in our lives. This happened in our out of town trip.
I have never jumped on a trampoline before. And there was one trampoline right under our noses. It was right under the sun, at noon time.
I didn't care. I have never jumped on a trampoline before. I was like a kid rushing to that damn trampoline under the noon sun. And, she was right behind me. The next thing I saw was her jumping up and down while I do just the same.
I couldn't pull myself together. I was actually doing that and I was with her. I felt really high. Then I just took her hands while we jumped up and down.
That was the first time I held her hands. I was holding them with mine for some good twenty seconds, and she was in no protest against me holding her. And honestly, if it weren't because of that streaking heat of the noon sun, I could have held her hands abit longer. Nah, just kidding. I just felt suddenly shy.
But the kid in us didn't leave just yet. There was a foozball contraption there and we just played and sweat it out.
At that very day, I felt really comfortable being with her. She was sitting on a hammock and I just came to her sitting beside her. I even took a picture with us sitting on that hammock.
That seemed like the almost-perfect time for that first picture. We wore the same shirt color and we were quite alone in where we were. Then I was feeling the guts over the feeling of being shy.
It was a simple request, but how the hell do I ask her. I was holding my brother's cam.
"Hey, is it okay if I take picture with you?"
Or something like that [I admit, at that time I couldn't complete a whole sentence without shaking when talking to her]. And we had our first picture. Man, she looked so pretty.
Do you guys remember that very special feeling? Maybe for those pretty girls out there, it'd be nothing, but for guys, HEART POUNDING! The moment you ask this very pretty girl who is just melting your heart while she simply stands in front of you to fake a smile, stand beside you for a couple of seconds, and just wait for the camera to click. That's already hard. And you hear her saying yes? That's a HUGE relief and alot of excitement. And the actual moment you stand beside her, and feeling abit of skin that you wouldn't know if you should press on or hold a little bit back while you position the cam and trying to look all composed?!
And finally, you finally get the picture that you've been waiting for. It's like THE PICTURE OF YOUR LIFETIME. More relief that you finally get it, and more excitement because you just can't wait to show that to your friends.
That's pretty much me at that moment.
Then more pictures followed. Please read on to moment #8.
8. Then those pictures followed. I must say, I was getting quite used to having pictures with her, no matter who is taking those. I would still feel amazingly frozen every time our bodies get really near to each other when we pose for a click, but I made sure from then that we good pictures.
Yea, we piled up quite a number of pictures. One of them was even given a title (not by me):
"[90561495] with a [adjective #1] [Adjective #2] guy" <--- go figure
That was like the "legendary picture". The picture of all pictures. I think we wore our best smiles in the whole trip and got really lucky enough to be able to put them in a single picture (Oh man you should see her very pretty smile in this picture!). And not just only that, we really looked sweet in that picture that her shoulder was over mine as if my arm could wrap her around or I could put my hand on her other shoulder (too bad I was a wimp!). We wore shirts with colors opposite in the color wheel, and the combination looks strikingly beautiful over a background of old with grays and greens. Some candid pictures capturing some good laughs or funny things.
One of the notable ones is when we got to ride a [something like a rickshaw in China, but instead of a human being, you get an animal as your engine]. The "rickshaw" was really unstable and we got quite off balanced and laughed it all off. Got it on film. Another from the candid pictures was tagged by a friend - "Hey, what are you doing with my bag?". We honestly didn't know that this was coming because we were way behind everyone else while we walk uphill together (but the picture was really upclose). Minding our own businesses while walking, she was looking the plants and flowers at the roadside (I think), while I was messing with her little bag (which I actually bought for her). Got that on film as well.
More from the candid pictures. At one day, we were both wearing pink. We looked cute alright. But there is another picture that was amusingly tagged by a friend again. He did not just tag it by the way. HE MADE AN EDITED PICTURE OF IT (LOL). It goes like this. We just ordered food from a Chinese restaurant, and we just had to wait. We left kinda bored, positioning restlessly on our chairs. Here how the picture came: She was looking at the table, maybe holding the menu or something, and looking quite abit pissed or disturbed with her lips pouted, while I was looking actually inside the restaurant but in the camera it appears like I was looking at her trying to figure out what to do next. This friend of mine edited the picture by putting shoutout clouds like in the comic strips with her thinking "When will he court me?" and me thinking "How will I court her?". LOL it was really funny.
I didn't actually come to understand why we had to pose for like ten times when we were at the pool side. The first one was already ok. Two should have been enough.
We were in a bar with some family friends. I STILL don't know if it was just me, or she was trying to get nearer to me when we were having our pictured taken that night, nearer than the usual. I can still remember that night that she was warmer to me, more talkative and just abit different than how she showed her identity to me on the previous days. If you should take a look at this series of pictures, I was in the same pose in those pictures while she was changing positions. More or less an hour after that, in some way, she wanted to know how I felt for her. But still, I don't know if it was right for me if I had taken advantage of her.
Oh yeah, before I forget. The last picture with just the two of us. Maybe the bluest of them all. Well, the previous night was an awful night for me. I am not sure how this picture was taken but here is how it looks like: Me, driver's seat. Her, passenger seat. My eyes looked half opened and I was looking maybe at the side mirror, with a shallow smile. Definitely I wasn't looking at her. She was leaning forward, smiling and looking at me, looking worried. Her elbow was on the compartment, maybe giving a hint that she was or about to lean nearer to me (maybe not). And, I was wearing the shirt she bought me for my birthday (and there is actually a picture where we were in the cashier with her buying the shirt).
Well, there are way more pictures in here. These are just some of the notable untold ones.
9. This memory is actually worth sharing. I just don't know how this ended up totally untold to anyone, not even in the prequel.
Get this: You're an a teenager anymore, but at that certain moment you felt like being a real kid. And lucky you, the girl you like so much wants to do the same with you at the same moment.
That was me at one point in our lives. This happened in our out of town trip.
I have never jumped on a trampoline before. And there was one trampoline right under our noses. It was right under the sun, at noon time.
I didn't care. I have never jumped on a trampoline before. I was like a kid rushing to that damn trampoline under the noon sun. And, she was right behind me. The next thing I saw was her jumping up and down while I do just the same.
I couldn't pull myself together. I was actually doing that and I was with her. I felt really high. Then I just took her hands while we jumped up and down.
That was the first time I held her hands. I was holding them with mine for some good twenty seconds, and she was in no protest against me holding her. And honestly, if it weren't because of that streaking heat of the noon sun, I could have held her hands abit longer. Nah, just kidding. I just felt suddenly shy.
But the kid in us didn't leave just yet. There was a foozball contraption there and we just played and sweat it out.
At that very day, I felt really comfortable being with her. She was sitting on a hammock and I just came to her sitting beside her. I even took a picture with us sitting on that hammock.
20090701
My Untold Memories - Memories 5 to 6
Finally, I got back on my own feet (I think). So here goes the cavalry again...
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5. Normally, when I cross the street with a friend (wherein my figure comes with more authority, depending on
who I am with), I'd step abit forward, have my arm being some kind of protection or something. It's kinda hard to explain, but this is just the introduction to this memory.
For the length of our time, we have crossed a number of streets. And already at one point, being the guy, I have this authority over her at some points - and one of them is crossing streets.
On few occassions, just before I could even "take the lead" in crossing the street, she would (not just hold) grabe my wrist. I would just freeze, and I swear I could have had myself get hit a car then. Well, it could have been really nice if I mustered just enough courage to hold her hand, at least for the short time we would cross a street.
I think it's actually must. There's one chapter that I can remember in All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum:
"When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together"
[This can mean alot of things if you try extrapollating this, but we'll stick to the literal meaning, as how a kindergarten kid would understand it]
Yeah, she did her part in most of the occassions (at least by grabbing my wrist). And at one instance I almost lost my life (or one of my limbs) because she wasn't there to take my arm (because at that time, I would be meeting her for the first time in like ten hours later). It's not totally because I did not know how to cross the street, but because [of a reason I am not yet ready to tell this blog].
If I have read that earlier, I would have felt obliged to hold her hand every single time we would cross a street. And now, I'll take note of this.
By the way, she has soft and nice hands.
6. I have taught her how play this game. We were in a room with our families. She first watched us playing the game. Then, she was right there behind me watching me play. Of course, I had to explain every step I was taking. Later on, when [assumingly] she had absorbed the basics of the game, she was already sitting on my chair as I watched and guided her. I have pictures of this with her playing.
It's hard to imagine, I know. But this is a card game.
Days had passed, and we had days that we spent by ourselves (or we didn't have much choice). We played this game by just the two of us. At first, yes it was very easy to beat her. But she learned quickly, and started to beat me up (I think). We definitely enjoyed playing, and we would play for hours.
The games were fun. Until the last set of games.
I was in the other room alone, with my guitar. Trying to reminisce and contemplate the events that happened prior to that moment, I was feeling really low. I didn't know what I really wanted with her, but it seemed I really wanted some time alone.
She came in with a deck of cards. The last games. The most depressing ones.
Now, I don't know if she still can remember how to play that game.
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5. Normally, when I cross the street with a friend (wherein my figure comes with more authority, depending on
who I am with), I'd step abit forward, have my arm being some kind of protection or something. It's kinda hard to explain, but this is just the introduction to this memory.
For the length of our time, we have crossed a number of streets. And already at one point, being the guy, I have this authority over her at some points - and one of them is crossing streets.
On few occassions, just before I could even "take the lead" in crossing the street, she would (not just hold) grabe my wrist. I would just freeze, and I swear I could have had myself get hit a car then. Well, it could have been really nice if I mustered just enough courage to hold her hand, at least for the short time we would cross a street.
I think it's actually must. There's one chapter that I can remember in All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum:
"When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together"
[This can mean alot of things if you try extrapollating this, but we'll stick to the literal meaning, as how a kindergarten kid would understand it]
Yeah, she did her part in most of the occassions (at least by grabbing my wrist). And at one instance I almost lost my life (or one of my limbs) because she wasn't there to take my arm (because at that time, I would be meeting her for the first time in like ten hours later). It's not totally because I did not know how to cross the street, but because [of a reason I am not yet ready to tell this blog].
If I have read that earlier, I would have felt obliged to hold her hand every single time we would cross a street. And now, I'll take note of this.
By the way, she has soft and nice hands.
6. I have taught her how play this game. We were in a room with our families. She first watched us playing the game. Then, she was right there behind me watching me play. Of course, I had to explain every step I was taking. Later on, when [assumingly] she had absorbed the basics of the game, she was already sitting on my chair as I watched and guided her. I have pictures of this with her playing.
It's hard to imagine, I know. But this is a card game.
Days had passed, and we had days that we spent by ourselves (or we didn't have much choice). We played this game by just the two of us. At first, yes it was very easy to beat her. But she learned quickly, and started to beat me up (I think). We definitely enjoyed playing, and we would play for hours.
The games were fun. Until the last set of games.
I was in the other room alone, with my guitar. Trying to reminisce and contemplate the events that happened prior to that moment, I was feeling really low. I didn't know what I really wanted with her, but it seemed I really wanted some time alone.
She came in with a deck of cards. The last games. The most depressing ones.
Now, I don't know if she still can remember how to play that game.
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