This Card Game

It's already a cliche when we hear someone say "I think of him/her every night" and similar stuff like that. But I think I have moved to the next level in that category.

Yes, I always think of her - from my first waking moment til my last conscious thought. I would always wonder how is she doing in her everyday life and all. But when nightfall comes, I give some time for myself to play this card game before I sleep.

Solitaire. It means patience.

The nightly battles between a 52-card deck and myself. Seems pretty simple but it gets very stressful at times. All you have to do is pile the cards in ascending order per suit, but it really takes a toll on you.

The game's winning percentage is actually low. At one point you thought you had the game, but you then realize you got locked out because the crucial card is faced down behind a stack of cards which you couldn't get. At another point, in an early stage of the game you got immediately locked before you could even say GAME OVER.

Maybe that's why it's called Solitaire. You have to be really patient on this game.

I don't do it just because I like playing it. Every time I shuffle the cards and set it, I'd always wish and say to myself "Please bring me closer you". It's like a desperation move, or something that I can only do when I cannot do anything about it, that if I'd win a game, I'd feel that I am getting myself or giving myself a chance to get closer to her, at least a bit.

But in reality, I just have to be patient in waiting for the things that will come to pass.