P2: "But this one is quite strange..."

That was the night of my birthday, in a territory I am not really familiar in. But it did not really matter - hell did I enjoy that day with her. I knew I couldn't wait to get back home to update the prequel. That time, I really wanted to vent out everything I was feeling for her.

She really had me from the start. I instantly had a crush on her the first time I laid my eyes on her. Quickly, I started liking her. At this point that I was writing this second entry, I knew I already liked her ALOT. And of all the girls that had (and this still accounts up to the present) caught my attention, this one is quite strange because [stripped off info]. And actually, I did compare her (I rarely do this) to these other girls I have known before, and none of them matches her in some crucial characteristics.

Yes, she rendered me dumbstruck alright. I think we ALL know that by heart by now. But at the point I was writing this (and just rediscovered it the last time I re-read this a few months ago), I really did not want anything to do with her in the romantic sense. Silly me huh? I liked her so much, and damn my heart would always melt just by looking at her, etc. But I did not want to be her boyfriend, or such. The "strange" reasons I mentioned were the reasons.

Another thing that was so disturbing for me is she might have seen a part of me which isn't me (backtrack here -> http://secret--lover.blogspot.com/2009/05/that-one-good-thing-she-saw-in-me.html). I have been someone who wants everything right on the table, so as no one will be left out or lost in transition, if that's safe to say. And my friends knew that I am a person of that stature. But I felt like she saw otherwise (but not conclusive I am sure) - like I'd be keeping some for myself for no apparent reason.

Yes, disturbing but I wouldn't worry that much. Remember, I didn't want to be her boyfriend. I was just cherishing the moment. Close to heaven, yeah.

Card games. Double yeah!

At that point, I was already worried on how I would be going on when the time comes that we would not be seeing each other (for a long time, or not at all - yet to be known). I knew that day would be big for me, dunno for her. I was already thinking if she was willing to talk to me and how we will actually be in contact after that "stint". It did look quite gloomy.

That's how I ended the second entry. Worrier with a sad face.